The 2013 San Francisco Marathon is upon us. I’ll be racing the full marathon 14 days after finishing the San Diego Rock ‘n’ Roll Marathon, my shortest time frame between two marathons.
I’ve been racing a lot for the first half of 2013, running:
2 Half Marathons
4 Marathons (includes SFM)
1 50k
1 50 Mille
That’s an intense five months and a schedule that I wouldn’t normally have even considered possible a year ago. There is clearly an underlying motivational factor.
I submitted my application to be a 2013 SFM ambassador last year in the fall. Knowing and interacting with some people involved, being a proud promoter of our city and having an online presence already in place, I thought it was a perfect match. When found out I wasn’t included among almost 40 selected, it was a shot to the gut that made me question a lot of things I was doing, justified or not. I explain it better here.
A day later I registered for 2013 and set my mind on “proving myself.” Somehow looking for vindication from a 26.2 race. At the start of 2013, I planned an aggressive schedule. Every training run turned into a way for me to get my disappointment, anger, and frustration out. I wanted to be stronger. I pushed myself on Tuesdays to be faster on Sundays. I ran. And ran. And ran some more.
I started using races as ways to train. Half Marathons as speed work, marathons as training runs. Everything was leading me to running this one race that I all of a sudden never really spoke too much about. This is actually the first time I’ve blogged about SFM since October and I blog about EVERYTHING and tweet about it often.
As if running wasn’t already hard enough, I’ve been running with a chip on my shoulder for the last six months. The funny thing is that NOT being included has probably been the best thing for me. I’ve seen incredible improvements in my running, even if the time isn’t reflective. I’m a more efficient runner, a faster runner and it also allowed me to do maybe one of the most significant things I’ve ever been involved with on a global scale. I know that I am being silly in the grand scheme of things. I know this. I’ve been told this by true friends and many whose opinion I value. I understand it.
Motivation, whether from an imagined slight or not, can be an amazing factor. I’ve been running with aggression and determination longer than I would like to admit. My mind and body need a rest. I can feel it. I stuttered in San Diego and know that my body needs a break.
I’m asking for ONE MORE race.
I’ll be proving myself to myself… if that makes any sense. When we line up this Sunday and everyone is racing against their own goals, I’m racing to overcome an event. To show that this race cannot stop me. That I will overcome all obstacles and come out stronger on the other side.
Proof?
When I registered back in October, I put my finish time as 4 hours. A goal that at the time was an aggressive one that I was willing to use as a motivational goal. I was going go for my first sub-4 on the SF course… want to know how hard I’ve been training? I reached that goal in March, again in May and again in June. I want more. I want faster.
All roads, trails and pavement have led me to this one race… this one race on Father’s Day where I’m determined to give it my all.
Just one more race.
Thoughts?
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Great to use “proving to others you can do it” as motivation. But, you’d be surprised what you’ve prob already proved to them!
Good luck!! Great job at reaching and surpassing your goals! I know you’ll rock it!
you seriously never cease to amazing me. you are absolutely incredible!
You got this Pavey!!
Then you can rest with a poutine and a timbit! xox
Fingers crossed for you! And happy to hear that after you will take a break…don’t want you to burn out or cause long-term damage from too much racing. That’s my mom talk. I’ll stop now!
You SO got this.
Wow. This is one excellent post and pita lots of things in perspective. We are where we are suppose to be at any given time. They did you a favor and lit a fuse in you. Go out there and snatch that sub 4! Ill be right behind you lol!
Run on, Buddy!
Good luck! You are so determined and well prepared, you’re going to do great! And you will have earned that break. Congratulations for the improvements you’ve already made!
Bummer for not being selected because there is no doubt that you deserved it but on a positive note, you have really stepped up your game and seen huge results! Good luck on your race and I am sure you will do great!
I just read a post from Laura (Mommy Run Fast) about using anger as motivation, or as a spark. So maybe anger is a little strong, but it sounds like you’ve found some serious motivation and used that productively. I’ll be cheering you on virtually!!!
I’m excited for you and can’t wait to hear how well it goes. Although I can understand your disappointment, like you said, it sounds like it was the best thing for you and gave you so much added motivation. GOOD LUCK Sunday! You’re going to be great!
The determination is dripping from this post! I know you can do it! You’ve already shown all who read your blog that you rock…now go show yourself!!
YEAH! You’ve got this! I’ll be cheering you on from T.O! Enjoy the down time my friend, you most certainly deserve it.
Go for it!! “Success is the best revenge.”
Everything happens for a reason, maybe you needed this chip on your shoulder…looks like you are killing it
You are so determined and it shows! Extremely inspirational. Go get um’ and we’ll be cheering you on from Buffalo!
I can tell, just in your posts, how much greater you are in your running. It’s amazing what can motivate us, and how it changes us (for the better). I can’t wait to see what happens this weekend. I wish I could be in one of my favorite cities cheering you on, but I have no doubt you will have a ton of amazing supporters out there. Your determination is such an inspiration. Good luck!
i have faith in you! no doubt! and so does the first lady. I can see it in her little eyes!
YOU. SO. GOT. THIS.
I was so bummed for you-their loss will be your gain.
This Saturday night. Lime will stay on the glass. It’ll be a good sign ;)
I love the determination in this post – if that’s any indication I’d say you have this in the bag.
I totally get this – how it’s fueling your determination, how it’s about you vs you and it’s about showing the event that it can’t beat you. Because it can’t. I know that it’s probably still important to you to do well on Sunday but you have really come so so far in the past six months. Not only running wise. You’ve won on so many levels and I can’t wait to see you make it official on Sunday and run the hell out of that race. You’ve totally got this.
It’s been amazing watching all that you have accomplished over these last few months. I’m sorry for not interacting more, but know that I’ve been sending a lot of positive energy your way. I think that NOT being an ambassador for this race has definitely been the best thing for you, and I’m excited to see what you do on this course. There will be a lot of relief at the end of this one, get there as fast as those legs can take you.
You’ve had an amazing year so far! Best wishes for Sunday and Happy (early)Father’s Day!
I truly adore your dedication to running so much. You’re such a terrific role model! :)
AMAZING!!!!! I get exhausted reading all you do! :)
Please be careful. I kept reading about your intensity and all I could see between the lines is INJURY|INJURY|INJURY.
It’s in the bag!
But an SFM success or not, what you have achieved this year (in your racing and beyond) is amazing and something to be celebrated! What a fantastic year for you… And it’s only half way through!